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Friday, March 28, 2008♥
& we aren't even drunk yet. ♥ 8:46 AM
FRIDAY. Loving it!
SHE has finally decided to call truce.
SHE called last night. WE slow-talked.
She told me that while she was no longer mad at me, she didn't think that things would ever be the same again. Apparently, she doesn't feel that friends should feel intimidated by each other. And that's exactly how she felt. Can you believe it? Intimidated by me?!!! Who was I to intimidate ppl! LOL.
I told her that there was never a reason she should feel intimidated by me. I told her that the truth was that I feel inadequate standing next to her. She's so beautiful and when we're hanging out together, people are alwayz looking at her beauty in awe. But she said no.
"U're pretty and you make a lot of noise."
HUH?
"The boys always look at me first. But you're the one they end up liking, coz they like that you're outgoing and easy/fun to talk to. It's not fair. I have it all. The looks, the body... and in just 5 mins, they go off stupidly throw that all away and choose someone who just has a personality instead. (I couldn't help but secretly smile to myself at this part. How can i not? She still says the darnest things, doesn't she? LOL. *soft spot*)"
So there you go. Yet another episode of "You're special in your own way.". LOL.
SECRET'S OUT.
There we were both always hanging out with each other and always feeling like we could never match up to the other. Both as insecure as the other one. Both thinking that the other was better. Both downplaying their own qualities. So while we finally come to a truce, we also finally come to terms with the fact that after all that, we can't go back to being close like we used to.
For awhile, I thought like saying, hey, let's try, if our friendship is strong, we should be stronger now after fighting. Then I realise that we've through this kind of shit more than just the average few MISUNDERSTANDINGS. Me & her, we've got too much history. From way back. Then I realise for us to both grow up, maybe it's time to let go. Our insecurities will only end up swallowing us up.
She and I will still contact each other. It's just never going to be the same. In fact, it hasn't been for awhile anyway.
Babe, thks for everything. Thks for forgiving me even though, like i said, I'm not at fault. I'm just glad my name is cleared. SO just so everyone is clear now, I DID NOT MAKE ANY ATTEMPT WHATSOEVER TO STEAL MR BOB from my dear lady fren. HEY GIRLFREN, any attempt of mine would have been feeble anyway[:)]... Cause he was crazy about you. I guess he just said all those things to spite you, to make you jealous. :). People say horrible things when they're angry, things they don't even mean.
Hey, wait, before I end this entry... there is a moral to the story, you know... LOL.
We shouldn't downgrade ourselves so much. We're all special in some way. Like how I'm addicted to pokka tea and other people are addicted to ketamine. That's special right? (RIGHT?!! LOL.) So like they say, "every song has a favourite listener." Another way of saying that there's someone for everyone. :) Embrace our qualities!
And one of the reasons why I'm deliriously happy... Who would have thought someone supermodel material would be jealous of silly old me? :):):). Self-admittedly, I was just as jealous of her as she was of me. Ouh, bothersome aren't we both, ain? LOL. :). GERLFREN, u're a real pain in the ass sometimes and a real ****ing bitch (U know it & intend to maintain it. LOL.), but at least it's my ass and you were MY bitch. WAHAHA!!! We'll never change, will we? :). Can't help it, can we? Too much history, the both of us. :):):). At least, we're no longer mad at each other. And we're still frenz!!! :). And yes! U can still read and tag on my blog... I've missed your (darn & bimbotic!) tags! Feeling2 GERLFREN POWER gitu la! WAKAKA!
I've really got loads of reasons to keep smiling today. :)
your crazy touch, the strangest rush
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